i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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