did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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