Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize