Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
