How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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