No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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