he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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