come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
