if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
