Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just had sex bonerless
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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