I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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