trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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