Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize