I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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