my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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