Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
