Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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