do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
