think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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