He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
