If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
