life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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