I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
