Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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