i think i have two assholes
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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