i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my phone needs a breathalizer
I just cut my nipple shaving
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize