Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
