Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
