i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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