i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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