Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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