Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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