normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
