Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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