youre lurking in front of me
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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