I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
