dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dignity is for republicans.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
