I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
