I bet he comes in French.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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