god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
