he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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