you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You pole danced in your parka.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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