So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
