I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
