Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
