I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
