This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
