i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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