why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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