I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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