ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
