The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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