I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
