I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How naked do you want me to be?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
