if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
