he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
What a dumb baby whore.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
