at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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