My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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