I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
