He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
