So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
