just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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