I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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