my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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