Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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