So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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